Wednesday, April 15, 2009

WHAT LIES OVER THERE



Have you ever wondered what it's like to be discriminated? or having rejected of the job you wish for, its because you aren't a product of the top (caliber) universities in the country? Or its because you aren't an English native speaker, yet , a native of the Philippines?
All these pointless reasoning has gotten me sick outrageously. I am always bombarded with these kind of unprincipled dogma herein. My childhood dream in life is to give a try-out working beyond the island with the desire of knowing what it likes to work abroad, & what lies out there (of course earning is included though).
Since the grass is more greener & luring at the other side of the world, the skilled & professional Filipino workers continually leaving the motherland for a cause,economically. What future you can get out of this corrupt country?
Eventually, its my second option whenever rejections continue to rise in my denomination (referring to my church affiliations, which racial discrimination still practicing).
Ideally, Adventist (my church) aren't supposed to embrace this kind of belief, because it's an indulgence of the world. Let me share my ill-fated experiences concerning racial discrimination.I just received a fresh email from a secretary at the recruitment area in our church big office (pertaining to Southeast Asia)These information from the website are very important. For Language qualification: English (mother tongue) required, this refers to applicant coming from English speaking countries such as USA, Canada, Australia, England, etc.
Another incidents, an English Language Institute in Ukraine,owned by our church rebuffed my application because I'm not an American nor coming from the English speaking countries. That rejection was done through a long distance phone call right after the questioning of my nationality, school, & my accent.Whew, why the Lord didn't make English as one language globally so as my voice, pronunciation accentuated like of those American or British twang?
One hurtful experienced occurred too was when I received another long phone call coming from USA initiated phone interview because of the application I sent in Japan for a missionary teaching job. Hence, I was asked to obtain a driver's license which is one of the requirements needed.
After all those refined & a little assuring conversation, I raised a question concerning the possibilities & chances I can make to get the job, straightly frank as the answered was a big NO, its because again they needed American by particular.
I told the person, what's the use of calling me & forcing me to secure a driver's license in a quickest possible time,yet, they won't accept me? I'd really say, "Putang Ina". I never cared of the Celestial Being would hate me of saying " Putang Ina ,talaga" That's how I felt right now, I'm outrageously angry.
Got this message online:
Your future isn’t fixed, but it is shaped – by events and experiences, in this life and any past lives. For example, early emotional wounding or traumatic experiences, even if barely remembered, can leave ‘triggers’ that activate to cause repetitive patterns of negativity. Negativity in one person attracts negativity in others, damaging both personal and professional relationships.

At What Lies Ahead, our work involves identifying, understanding, and countering, negative influences from the past involving you and those close to you. By removing the ‘triggers’ that cause negativity, we are laying the foundations on which you can build a better, more positive future.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

OVERFED BUT UNDERNOURISHED

Huh! long holy week vacation's over, it's over for a vacationers-except me. Except for a jobless, unemployed like me, - us. Sounds very pathetic and hopeless isn't it? Unemployed in the midst of the global crisis is a worthless & unmeritorious citizen. What can I do? I was born poor, unfortunate, ill-fated college graduate.
Living in a barren corrupted country slowly enfeeble my hopes as I am counting the days everyday. Sometimes, my inclinations to worry unduly executed me as if it grips my neck tightly and leave me breathless.
Occasionally, I ask myself f God has abandoned me completely. I have never been so lucky since my life is always paired with regrettable inauspicious living, comparing to other like my cousins, friends, acquiantances, and even classmates back both in high school and college.
Considering overfed with food and dreams but undernourished materially. Undernourished all the answers being asked in life.
I am honestly starving of the answers I needed, why I'm always left situated at the end-most? Why can't I be preceding all others in order? Why can't I be succeeded just like them? Life seems to be unfair and unpromising in terms of thing conducive to happiness.
My holy week vacation wasn't favorable & fertile as I expected to happen. Not just because I wasn't gratified & felicitously happy meeting with my cousins, except for the fact that my intellectual ability is boggling with doubt questions instead of resting it from the puzzling enigmatic life. I left my rented place for a short vacation monetarily emptied so as I came back still empty handed. What a wasted nonsense life! Don't you think it is?
Aside from the crucial hot weather that caused ny head aching, thinking hardly about my future is among the ultimate problems form a mental picture in mind. The lack of sleep, food, and money has been excruciatingly tough. Adding to that, the global economic meltdown, less jobs offer in the country is an alarming scenario that shakens me, resulting (to) the weakens of my spiritual badly.
Honestly, I'm lonely, sad, angry, hopeless and crying everyday. Throughout the lent days, harboring myself by watching movies was the last opt I did just to ease the pain and head-aches.
Temporarily, it diverted my mind somewhere else nonetheless, it didn't cure absolutely.
Below are the posters of the films I had watched just this lent days. I thank my cousin Rose and her husband Richard for lending me those movies thru out the week. If you haven't watched them, please try to. Some, may old films already but still worth to watch.













Saturday, April 04, 2009

YESTERDAY, TODAY and TOMORROW

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.

Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday

So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.

Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday And I reached some of those goals today So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow And if tomorrow turns out to be like today I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
(Source: Janargy )


The weather isn't good this time... Supposedly, today must be a hot summer but it turned out to be rainy in the midst of summer..funny isn't it? Life is just like that, full of drama and mystery, sometimes your happy and lucky and suddenly things will turn out so gloomy, very unpredictable.
While reading and touring the entire blogosphere, a poem which is "Makulit" of sort was posted by a certain blogger name Jan, because of its kakulitan I was tempted to copy it and posted it here with the hope everyone might appreciate just as I do too and understand the thought behind the message with a question;
Once again, I just amused myself by watching a bundle of movies while I'm still a couch potato this time temporarily. Two movies from the 80's and one was an event happened back in the late 70's till 80's but the film was shot early of year 2000 which brought so much flashback in mind while I was savoring the 80 tempo of the movies.
One of it, is my fave since it was starred by Brooke Shields, my childhood crush.I had viewed it once incompletely the reasoned I downloaded it again. She was the crush of the 80's lads that time,because she is stunned, with a very beautiful face and a good actress then.
Endless Love movie, was an action of teens rebellious way back in the 80's, meaning a forbidden love.Brooke Shields became more famous when this movie had shown globally...of course with its timeless theme song " Endless Love" sang by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie.
9 1/2 Weeks movie, was a very steamy and sexy movie yet somewhat psychological.It tells about passion on love and sex, sadomasochistic relationship involvement of sexy actress Kim Basinger nudity.This movie was an old and original 90's version of "Basic Instinct", though the story was different but it involved the same erotic scenes and nudity (nudity of Sharon Stone at Basic Instinct).The 3rd movie I watched was Studio 54.The actors who had played on the movie were actors of today like Ryan Philippe, Selma Hayek but the setting and the whole pictures was happening during the heady days of 70's-80's.This movie reminds me of so much music and people who usually attended the hottest disco of all time naming the rich and famous, not only on showbiz but in politics. Well, that once famous disco was named by the christian groups as the Sodomic city in New York because of it's sexually activities, drugs, etc. So much lessons to learn about these movies, regardless of its rate as sexy and a dim erotic.
Life is like a movie, written, produced, played by us but directed by God...it's a one take movie, sometimes its blockbuster most likely a flopped.That's where we cried, stumble, worried and discouraged...nonetheless as a human nature just as we are we can't think and ask why....



Tuesday, March 31, 2009

CONTRASTED LIVES

CONSTRASTED LIVES
Jesus and Alexander died at 33.
One lived and died for seld; one died for you and me.
The Greek died on a throne; the Jew died on a cross.
One's life a triumph seemed; the other but a loss.
One's led vast armies forth; the other walked alone.
One shed a whole world's blood; the other gave His own.
One won the world in life and lost it all in death;
the other lost His life to win the whole world's faith.
Jesus and Alexander died at 33.
The Greek made all men slaves; the Jew made all men free.
One built a throne on blood; the other built on love.
The one was born of earth; the other from above.
The one won all this earth, to lose all earth and heaven.
The other gave up all, that all to Him be given.
The Greek forever died; the Jew forever lives.
He loses all who gets; he wins all things who gives.
-Charles Ross Wedge-

I'm back from such a couple of days in silence...miss blogging and updating. Usually when I blog, I don't just post them here directly without checking and writing them in a piece of paper and check the necessary errors like spelling, grammar and of course digging out my serious ideas with the help of my dictionary using a little hard of vocabularies, before scribbling them here in my personal blog.
These past weeks up to now, have been so painful and excruciating hot weeks. Jobless, penniless, boring life, frustrations and disappoinments keeps on confronting me.
Resulting to this adversaries, I really don't know what to do and where to go. I left for Olongapo the second week of March just to accompany my cousin picking up her estrange bf from Japan.
My stayed there was good since I got the chance to see my classmates back in High School. We discussed about the possible initial reunion of our class. I never been home for 3 years so I seized the opportunities I had to roam around the city.
Familiar landmarks are still there stood in remembrance of the good old Olongapo heydays. When I got back from Olongapo, bundle of problems scattered away. Boy, life is getting harder everyday so as my world is getting smaller in Cavite.
Avoiding the hot boring summer, I stayed at my co-teachers place watching movies as I needed too...wow, you heard that, as much as I want too.
As a movie geek, I sorted them and balancing what movie should I consider to be favorite aside from movies in the 80's.
Among the films I had watched this summer was, "August Rush" captures the moment of my life. Watching it truly moves my heart and bring so much wet of tears in my eyes but I decided to control them so as my co-teachers won't laugh at me.
Gee, love the movie so much, good thing that my co-teachers has a taste on selecting movies that has quality....listen, quality.
So much more, I found this message from a certain devotional while I was browsing the book to pass the time....this Contrasted Lives captured my emotion pondering deeply how God gave His son for us sakes....are we making our lives accorind to His will? its a question that needs an answer right?

Well, here are the movies that erases the boredom I had this week.








Sunday, March 15, 2009

NEVER STOP BELIEVING

Never Stop Believing
There's always the promise of a new day.
There's always something to come home to.
There's always a star much brighter than the darkest night.
There's always a moment when the impossible becomes probable.

All because you believe. Together we can move mountains.
(source: AYALA Corp.)

As usual, life has been so monotonous these times....nothing much newsworthy and no challenges. I just stay home watch movies with friends(thanks to Jacks and Michael for allowing to watch movies at their home)
I got this short poem from a news paper and it was a message from AYALA group...I like how the message goes as it is trying to explain of reaching your dreams without stopping of believing that you can possibly go beyond what you desire for.
Hopelessly as I am, that poem encourages me to stay tune no matter how vague and unclear life is....from now on I won't stop believing.
These were the movies I had watched previously.......you like them while you are passing the boring time.







Thursday, March 12, 2009

IN LIFE; SAFE OR SORRY?


Life could be very tricky. One day you're up, the next day you're down. Having a stable and good paying job is life's safety net against uncertainties.
World crisis is still a financial catastrophic, that leaves the humanity in tears and a pocket threat.
Everyone wants to be successful in life, and success in life is all about finding the perfect fit-with your partner, educations, chose endeavors and more importantly, your career.
We couldn't recognize the small thrive in an environment much different from the one in which we desire to be.
Honest to goodness, we continue to strive not just to earn something in this world but for the survival of the crisis that continue to wash out the world's stability.
At the end of the day, what is important is not simply what you and I have done, but the reason why we do things.
Planning every single of our dreams and desires is like plotting a quarters worth of meals.
After all these struggles in life, anchoring to God's promises is the best propeller that we can use, (as) today's is the eliminations of the unfit and the survival of the fittest.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

NEED TO ACTIVATE MY ADRENALINE

I didn't have much to do since by the midst of February.Winter break has over for the Koreans so they need to go back to Korea for schooling.
This summer down to August is a minimal number of students. Working as a private tutor since 2006 has been my bread and butter for survival. It has been my security blanket throughout the tough times. Well, at least I need to thank God for the tutorial job he has given me so as I have something to grab on when financial crisis takes in (at least).
Since I only have oner student left (I'm idle from the morning till in the afternoon as my tutorial scheduled in the evening..I need to activate my adrenaline this time) watching movies throughout the entire 8 hours is my escapade from boredom.
As a movie buff, watching movies is a form of remedy for me, it heals the loneliness when boredom comes along.
Among the movies that I had just watched these weeks were the following:














Just watch these movies...I am recommended them all, you'll learn something and you'll surely laugh. Sometimes life is so boring so go on and watch your fave movies at home.

Photoblog: Baan Suan Hassadi - Thailand