LEAVES THE FUTURE TO FATE

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When future seems untrue & blurred, as if hope gone slowly to forlorn-we glided to discourage and ask," What Future do I Have? ".
Growing up in a poor family, I always dreamt of having a fine,classic life.But up to now I'm still gruppling tightly whether chance would come or not. Aside from obtaining a good christian Education; shaping & building my own dreams is really hard to establish when I only start now putting a scaffold in the midst of my adult years.
I remember an old song that goes," When I was just a little kid, I asked my mother what shall I be? Will I be richer, will I be poor?; this is what she said to me, " Que sera, sera whatever will be, will be. That song describes the simplicity of a kid's dream and confusingly what future holds for him out of his innocence, as the mother can't help out to pull a better future for her kid but leaving the future to fate. When we hope, we tried our best to realize it but when the heaven seems so silent and prayers left unanswered, we become helpless but give fate to control.
As a dreamer and dreaming of big things to happen in my life,the journey must go on though it remains still a question till now. However,I strongly believe with faith in my heart that God will help me to fulfill my dreams before the due of time.
Frailty as I am, discouragement sometimes knocks me off down to the ground helplessly.I know from start that life is like a boxing, its up to us to escape from the hit of every jab of the opponents and prepare ourselves to face the possible strong blows of life.
Do I leave my future to fate? I just don't know....I'm still asking myself about it..but to be safe, leave it up all to the Lord.
Let me share a nice passage that I received from a friend through text:
"Life is full of uncertainties, we'll never when our time on earth is up till its over. So take many pictures, laugh much, have a long walk with someone, take time to look up at the stars, eat like there's no tomorrow, sing loudly, feel the cold wind, smile a lot and love like you've never been hurt before because every 60 seconds you spend, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."
What a real awakening..isn't it? My views in life has been changing every battles of life I face on daily..it's so tiring but I need to continue the battle that I have started.

IN THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE

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In this earthly journey, each of us is not blessed with abundance in life. Some were born with a silver spoon on their mouth, while the others on the opposite.
Some may born literally poor but richly blessed in the end because of hard work & determination to escape in the quicksand of poverty. As we journey through life, we'll probably notice that things begin to change little by little. We get more responsibilites & faced challenges. Its like playing cards, which tricky games involved just to get win, or we use mathematical methods to get the winning pair. If you play your cards rightly, in the end, lossing is far from your hands.
Our future is a game that must be played with winning strokes to assure us of victory. As we are coming of age each day, it is these years of our lives that we attempt to build a world of our own without any assistance given by our parents in order for us to walk independently.
Life is full of frustrations while you continue to walk in this lonely life....what we are going to do is enjoy what life has to offer, or else we won't be able to do it again when we started to fade slowly..that word's of goodbye is highly pronounced.

RAINBOW CONNECTION

RAINBOW CONNECTION
Kermit the Frog

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

This is my fave song.It was popular way back in the early 80's sang by Kermit the frog theme song from the movie "The Muppet Show". No matter how vague it was still I can remember how Kermit sang this wonderful song.Its the entrance of the movie,while Kermit playing the guitar hovering over in the river,beneath in a peaceful moonlight evening.
If you go along with the flow of the lyrics and savor its juices,you'll see yourself in the fantasy land of reality.
The song is truly sad and lonely,yet, soothing.Every time I sing or hear this song,it brings me back the time where I was young,naive and dreaming of going to some place that I wish to see.
As an adult person, I still believing that dreams do come true no matter what.Loneliness,envelopes me when times of reckoning the days,how I would make my dreams come true.
But just as the song goes,someday I'll find it the rainbow connection,the lovers the dreamers and me.

TIRED OF BEING TIRED

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"In life, you may feel tired of fighting for the same reason everyday. You may feel that everyone is moving so fast leaving you far behind and you may feel that there's no point of moving on.There's no certainty in life.
It's not how fast you get there, it's on how you played the game. Put in mind that at times, it's better to be like a turtle who patiently moves and enjoys every step of the way rather than a rabbit who runs so fast and misses every simple detail of life."
-unknown-

This was the text message I received from a friend. I saved it because the message reflects how I went through everyday. Concerning of my age, I always complains, whinning here and there forgetting to appreciate the little things that God has given me.
I guess my angst in life since then is resulting to failures in life which I can't hardly to accept. Honestly, acceptance is the hardest part specially if it tells about your wishes, & ambitions in life.Time fly so fast so as our age fades just as the leaves that nowhere to go.
I didn't know that my angst becomes a habit when you allow it to grow in your heart,knowing that it goes with you every where you go.Because of my recent malady situation financially,my mind would always entertain & filled with complains and anger, worrying about tomorrow about my future, losing the hope of trusting the Lord fully.
However, I thank God for friends nearby and abroad for the kind prayers and words of endearment that continue to enliven my dying spirit. Tendency of worrying is the food that usually I feed on my mind,that I need to rush things because of my age that I might not have ended to work at all or marrying someone.Or losing to grab the best job that I wish to have eternally, or worrying that I am already losing my track and left behind with my friends and collegue.
Human as I am, that is one of my weaknesses in life...a worry-wart individual..when I received that text,just finding out that at times we need to slow down in order for us to appreciate and understand more the meanings of life..isn't it wonderful? is it?
Last week, I went home to Olongapo with so much pain in heart but happy as well knowing that I'll be seeing home for this year.
Meeting with my classmates and batchmates back in High School were among the people whom I'd met with a little boys thing happiness, which gave me a head ache because of the mixed drinks we had just drunk.
Anyway,I enjoyed that night being with them and hopefully meeting with them again sometimes soon.

BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

I wasn't good enough for real, the reason I was met with much anxiety. The question are, what's my priority in life? Wife? Comfort? or Financial stability, perhaps?
The sporting desire of my elusive dreams are complemented by exceptional roller coaster ride, highly generous amounts of patience and long suffering, of course there should be flexibility to match.So I can be what I want to be.."Hirap ng Buhay talaga ngayon, haaayyy!
Listing some of the movies, I had viewed during lent season were the following:












(Disclaimer: just want to thanks Google.com for these posters and Rose&Richard Cayanan for sharing these movies to me)

WHAT LIES OVER THERE

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be discriminated? or having rejected of the job you wish for, its because you aren't a product of the top (caliber) universities in the country? Or its because you aren't an English native speaker, yet , a native of the Philippines?
All these pointless reasoning has gotten me sick outrageously. I am always bombarded with these kind of unprincipled dogma herein. My childhood dream in life is to give a try-out working beyond the island with the desire of knowing what it likes to work abroad, & what lies out there (of course earning is included though).
Since the grass is more greener & luring at the other side of the world, the skilled & professional Filipino workers continually leaving the motherland for a cause,economically. What future you can get out of this corrupt country?
Eventually, its my second option whenever rejections continue to rise in my denomination (referring to my church affiliations, which racial discrimination still practicing).
Ideally, Adventist (my church) aren't supposed to embrace this kind of belief, because it's an indulgence of the world. Let me share my ill-fated experiences concerning racial discrimination.I just received a fresh email from a secretary at the recruitment area in our church big office (pertaining to Southeast Asia)These information from the website are very important. For Language qualification: English (mother tongue) required, this refers to applicant coming from English speaking countries such as USA, Canada, Australia, England, etc.
Another incidents, an English Language Institute in Ukraine,owned by our church rebuffed my application because I'm not an American nor coming from the English speaking countries. That rejection was done through a long distance phone call right after the questioning of my nationality, school, & my accent.Whew, why the Lord didn't make English as one language globally so as my voice, pronunciation accentuated like of those American or British twang?
One hurtful experienced occurred too was when I received another long phone call coming from USA initiated phone interview because of the application I sent in Japan for a missionary teaching job. Hence, I was asked to obtain a driver's license which is one of the requirements needed.
After all those refined & a little assuring conversation, I raised a question concerning the possibilities & chances I can make to get the job, straightly frank as the answered was a big NO, its because again they needed American by particular.
I told the person, what's the use of calling me & forcing me to secure a driver's license in a quickest possible time,yet, they won't accept me? I'd really say, "Putang Ina". I never cared of the Celestial Being would hate me of saying " Putang Ina ,talaga" That's how I felt right now, I'm outrageously angry.
Got this message online:
Your future isn’t fixed, but it is shaped – by events and experiences, in this life and any past lives. For example, early emotional wounding or traumatic experiences, even if barely remembered, can leave ‘triggers’ that activate to cause repetitive patterns of negativity. Negativity in one person attracts negativity in others, damaging both personal and professional relationships.

At What Lies Ahead, our work involves identifying, understanding, and countering, negative influences from the past involving you and those close to you. By removing the ‘triggers’ that cause negativity, we are laying the foundations on which you can build a better, more positive future.