Talking to Myself

I am suddenly feeling lonely now,I've been living abroad away from my friends and family for two years now and never felt the need to go find friends. I have managed to turn into a completely lonely person which I am still not able to stop wondering how I brought this on myself. I have become incredibly used to my loneliness, I am depended on it and yet I find myself surprised and disturbed by it every single day.
Thought of travelling & working abroad would erase my loneliness believing that half of my dreams has granted,yet, the longingness of complete happiness is still hard to gain. I tried to show my own parade and chased my loneliness away but being away from friends whom you've been with since then is irreplaceable.
I guess, I am still in the verge of adjusting myself to the environment that I am not familiar with. Poland is a beautiful country, so much to see but it added loneliness in me....Huuh, can't express the right words to say & surely you've gone to the same fate when you are abroad.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GOING TO

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GOING TO
(Diana Ross)
Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions
That you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we'll see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

This song was sang by Diana Ross,theme song from her movie Mahogany which she starred herself.
The song is asking a certain assurance in life about the future.I really like this song so much.It has been my question in life since I started to realize the uncertainties of my future...

IN THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE

csliew92.blogspot.com/

In this earthly journey, each of us is not blessed with abundance in life. Some were born with a silver spoon on their mouth, while the others on the opposite.
Some may born literally poor but richly blessed in the end because of hard work & determination to escape in the quicksand of poverty. As we journey through life, we'll probably notice that things begin to change little by little. We get more responsibilites & faced challenges. Its like playing cards, which tricky games involved just to get win, or we use mathematical methods to get the winning pair. If you play your cards rightly, in the end, lossing is far from your hands.
Our future is a game that must be played with winning strokes to assure us of victory. As we are coming of age each day, it is these years of our lives that we attempt to build a world of our own without any assistance given by our parents in order for us to walk independently.
Life is full of frustrations while you continue to walk in this lonely life....what we are going to do is enjoy what life has to offer, or else we won't be able to do it again when we started to fade slowly..that word's of goodbye is highly pronounced.

THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

The Long and Winding Road
(The Beattles)

The long and winding road
That leads to your door

Will never disappear
I've seen that road before

It always leads me here Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night

That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tear

Crying for the day Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times Ive been alone
And many times Ive cried Any way youll never know

The many ways Ive tried

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road You left me standing here

A long long time ago Dont leave me waiting here

Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road

You left me standing here
A long long time ago

Dont leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

According to Paul McCartney the one who composed the song, "I just sat down at my piano in Scotland, started playing and came up with that song, imagining it was going to be done by someone like Ray Charles. I have always found inspiration in the calm beauty of Scotland and again it proved the place where I found inspiration."

"It's rather a sad song. I like writing sad songs, it's a good bag to get into because you can actually acknowledge some deeper feelings of your own and put them in it. It's a good vehicle"

I'm not a fan of Beattles but this song have brought so much impact of emotions into my heart. An emotions that normally feels by individual like me who struggles in life as the long & winding road that I continually travel down the lonely memory lane is a complete unknown destinations.
The winding road is still there and I still am trying to find that road which somehow would bring me to the place of happiness and called success that only relatively few have traveled and found it literally.
Up to now, my journey to the Long and Winding Road has never ended which is truly tiring and pressed me down. Little did I know how long would I embark on this long and winding road as human being as I am, is sometimes weak enough to combat the temptations and the loneliness in life. My life has been travelling on that road since I graduated my education last 2007, wishing that a door of opportunities would just be right there in front of me awaiting for my long knocking.
I have never been succeeded in my plans, so as my heart always asking deeply to the Most High to lead me to that directions that I long wish to see. My heart is bleeding profusely due to the unfulfilled and failure plans. Just can't help myself but to cry of grieve because of the pain continue to prick the flesh of my heart.
Would there be an end to that long and winding road? how long shall I trod and endlessly walking to that road?

JOURNEYS OF DISCOVERY

(source:www.natewhitehill.com)

Considering the years I have been blogging(since 2005 and counting) from my old blogsite to blogspot there's something mutually beneficial and exciting in blogging.
My relationship with the blogosphere is akin to a romance where one fuels the others growth.
Since then,new discoveries were being discovered both the writings and the bloggers itselves.I gain more friends and even exchanging links that usually became my favorite place online to visit.Checking their blogsites increases more of my ideas how to write.
Guess what? in all my time of blogging,I learned more about myself from learning from fellow bloggers.In my very own life,I found the courage to find the freedom,leave my comfort zone and make major life changes so I could be as happy as I truly deserved to be.
No one is more fun and fearless than voicing out your inner thoughts in blogging.There are times that absenting in blogging is inevitable but the journey of discovery is a new way of enjoying life just as it is.
This is my other way of discovering things from the outside world...there are so many things that you'll discover online that meltdown the boredom in life.

MUSINGS ON LIFE

Living in this world involves walking,journeying and wandering...sometimes the travel passes to the crooked roads from the pit down to the abyss.
It is an introspective musings on life..
I just love to share this Musings which I got from my church...hope you can relate and understand fully what it takes to be in this world...and its purpose.



Life is a journey.On various occasions,a Christian is asked to make a stand on issues that unknown to him that effects a lifetime influence on others.Often the challenge is on his stand against the strong tide of popular opinion.It puts him to a test on whether he would succumb to the pressures of the crowd or he would choose to follow the narrow path that God has perfectly designed for him.
If one person decides against engaging on earthly pleasures and heed God's commands,certainly,God will open opportunities for his life to leave an impact that will send ripples far beyond measure.
A Christian must not lose his peculiar identity of being the child of God;instead he must be an exemplar in thought,in words and in actions.
It is never an easy task.It takes a courageous heart to set the pace and salt the world with a positive Christian influence.God is looking for thermostats responsible for regulating and stabilizing the temperature in its environment.He does not need a thermometer that adapts and adjust to the temperature of its surroundings.
When you come to the crossroads of your life's journey,what do you choose to be: a thermostat for God or a thermometer for the world?
(Disclaimer: taken from Salt Shaker by Joyosthie B.Orbe )

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

I heard this poem already but my interest hadn't dictated me to search nor read the piece.Until,I got the chance to read it on my students vocabulary book as it was printed.The poem, despite its last lines, where the narrator declares that in choosing a road, taking the "one less traveled by" "made all the difference," can be seen as a declaration of the importance of independence and personal freedom.
According to Wikipedia, “Popular explanation of this poem is that it is a call for the reader to forge his or her own way in life and not follow the path that others have already taken.”
"The Road Not Taken" is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in his collection Mountain Interval. It is the first poem in the volume, and the first poem Frost had printed in italics.
Frost claims that he wrote this poem about his friend Edward Thomas, with whom he had walked many times in the woods near London. Frost has said that while walking they would come to different paths and after choosing one, Thomas would always fret wondering what they might have missed by not taking the other path.
About the poem, Frost asserted, "You have to be careful of that one; it's a tricky poem - very tricky." And he is, of course, correct. The poem has been and continues to be used as an inspirational poem, one that to the undiscerning eye seems to be encouraging self-reliance, not following where others have led.
But a close reading of the poem proves otherwise. It does not moralize about choice, it simply says that choice is inevitable but you never know what your choice will mean until you have lived it.



The Road Not Taken
(Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler,long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other,as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Hand worry them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh,I kept the first for another day
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

This poem is usually interpreted as an assertion of individualism, but critic Lawrence Thompson has argued that it is a slightly mocking satire on a perennially hesitant walking partner of Frost's who always wondered what would have happened if he had chosen their path differently.
What evidence can you find in the poem to support each of these views?

his poem is tricky—very tricky. But only if we are not careful readers. If we read into poems claims that are not there. And in this poem, it is important to be careful with the time frame. When the speaker says he will be reporting sometime in the future how his road choice turned out, we have to realize that we cannot assign meaning to “sigh” and “difference,” because the speaker himself cannot know how his choice will affect his future, until after he has lived it.

SPENDING TIME

Last year,I posted some inspirational stories that brought tears and touched our hearts.I truly love reading anecdotes or inspirational story.They do change our lives and give us moment to think profoundly.
Again,here I am sharing with you a story to live by..which I've got from Phils. Star Daily news paper,quoted from the column of Wilson Lee, a professional columnist.This story was also sent to him from another Phils.Star reader by the name Hans Henry Wong.
"This was what Wilson Lee comments on the story: It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us,those close to our hearts.



A man came home from work late,tired and irritated,to find his five-year old son waiting for him at the door.
"Daddy, may I ask you a question?" the son asked. "Yeah sure,what is it?" replied the man.
"Daddy,how much do you make an hour?" "That's none of your business.Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know.Please tell me,how much do you make an hour?" "If you must know,I make 100Php an hour?"
"Oh,"the little boy replied,with his head down."Daddy,may I please borrow 50Php?" The father was furious,"If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense,then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed.Think about why you are being so selfish.I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions only.How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After abut an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that 50Php and he really didn't ask money very often.The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep,son?" He asked. " No Daddy,I'm awake," replied the boy. "I've been thinking,maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man."It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.Here's the 50Php you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up and smiled."Oh,thank you daddy!" Then reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled-up bills.The man,seeing that the boy already had money,started to get angry again.The little boy slowly counted out his money,and then looked up at his father.
"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled. "Because I didn't have enough,but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have 100Php now.Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow.I would like to have dinner with you." The father was crushed.He put his arms around his little son,and begged for forgiveness.

"Do remember to share that 100Php worth of your time with someone you love.If we die tomorrow,the company that we are working for today can easily replace us in a matter of days.But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.And come to think of it,we pour ourselves more into work than into our family.
Money is not everything,we can earn yesterday's money back,but we can't earn the time that we lost yesterday.Time is as precious as gold,but no amount of gold on earth can buy back time that has passed.
We are all equal in the sense that God gives us all 24hours per day.How do we wisely spend time or waste it? How do we invest our time? How do we maximize the efficiency of our really most valuable resource?"

Lonely Journey-According to Eric Chua

Just this morning while I was browsing the net searching for good templates,I just found my way to Maynas Chua blog...the entry was intriguing to me and pushing me to read all the contents with strong agreement.
All of us were into a Lonely-Journey..please do read his writing below....



Lonely Journey
Sometimes when I walk alone, I recall about the past, a not so recent past.
What might have happened if none has happened, is a question that can receive no answers.
What now matters is knowing that the present holds the key to the future, and if I don’t hold hold so tightly,
It will slip away, and slipped away this thing called “time” has had for many a person has let go
Once I have lived in the most beautiful love story no author could have ever wrote,
Then it was broken in a few moments of madness, and I gave everything I could to repair it,
Even if a broken vase is repaired, the cracks can still be seen, yes, this I understand.
But I know what was broken, can never be broken again, because we finally knew it could be broken. Nothing is perfect.
But if it had not happened, and I went back to my home where I came from, I would not have realized important things.
This time with open eyes I saw how everyone around me was struggling, barely making enough to survive, will I be one of them ?
I fear for what might happen if I continued what I was doing, which was the same as them, if I do the same, I will get the same. That is not rocket science and difficult to understand.
And what I chose to do may sound insane to some, I gave up short term gains for long term growth, if they are making barely enough to survive, I was then making nothing to be extinct.
Lonely is the man without love to give up a salary for a chance in business, one that he knew will succeed. But one in which he has to take the role of 10 men with 10 different jobs. How I managed to do it, I did not know. I only thought of 3 things, the future, my family and her.
The start is always difficult they say, and yes it is indeed. Everything was difficult, now it’s easier, much easier. But one thing pains me more than anything else, love. Please don’t disappear into a place where I can never see you again.
I really hope this Lonely Journey would end soon…
And where it leads…
will be a place where we will hold hands again…
I love you and always will.