Unloading A Heavy Burden

Photo courtesy of Google

" I will not leave you nor forsake you - Joshua 1:5 "

I have traveled down difficult roads in the midst of my 9 months stay here in Cambodia, started when I hosted a certain guy from Germany who used to be my guest back in the Philippines (I am a member of a travelers community online). Trouble came in and we started exchanging hurtful words just as the way I defended myself till in the latter, I was the one who apologized and humble myself not just because I was obliged to but because it is the right thing to do as Christian.
Yet, he's still enrage and wants me to resign so as leaving Cambodia for good out of his sight while he's still around. Long before it happens, a couple of rough occurrences had appeared startlingly as I would say enough to test my faith.
Problems didn't stop there because another hearsay circulating around from chit-chatters, which untoward my name has tried to be engaged in. With that, I have learned to be picky on choosing someone to be with around here, specially to unbelievers.
My life has been a mess with these lamentable dispute. Yet, there's a lesson to learn and that is the learning of unloading heavy burdens unto the Lord. I am constantly amazed at how much better I feel after talking to God and unpacking my heavy load.
It's enough to give me the strength re-pack it and letting God to carry it for me.

I would love to share this beautiful prayer which I got my from Devotional booklet, prior to some texts changed:

Dear Lord,

        I am so thankful to be Your child, and that You'll never leave me.

Help me to hold on to that promise when trouble seems to threaten on every side, Amen

Photo: Lifencanvas.blogspot.com

THE QUIET SHOUT

I just want to leave the comfort zone and make major life changes so I could be as happy as I truly deserved to be....Haaay,hirap ng buhay talaga!

In my quest to search the freedom that I have longed for, hasn't visibly come. Life has been so boring, unfair in such a way that I become eccentric. Surrounded by people whom I have just met not just long ago of years, misjudge me of being wicked, a losser, undesirable, uneasy to get along with and fastidious.

But they don't know practically the real me, that I juggle a grueling unfair life the same fate that they have. Being frank is better than being vulgar,right? That's me, a frank person who never afriads to talk straight and show sincere expression. What's wrong with being frank? I'm just trying to be honest and true, visibly showing the real me instead of acting to be pious superficially but a fake trying hard individuals.

Having a real group of friends since birth and friends whom I just met in the school and in church are the people with whom I dare to be myself, my soul is naked with them only to be who and what I am.These friends understand the contradictions the nature of me that sometimes lead others to misjudge me.Nonetheless, my doors are still open for a new room of set of friends. It's fun to have a lot of friends around you, but in the canopy of a place that I temporarily considered home aren't (a) friends as I expected to be. They don't understand the inner demons of myself, I can't really be myself around with them.

They were blinded the selfishness and egoism that they don't see everything about me and love me of being who I am, but just loving me of what I have that they enjoyed freely, devouring what I earned (heaven forbid). The worm that itches the paranoia in me sparks to a critical perspective that they are just hypocrites and nothing but a family of pharisees,damn heck.

I was in deep distressed that regrettable is the word I choose, accepting somebody and fed them plainly on my palm,yet, turn their back on me. Now I already knew their true colors that easily faded when things turn out to be badly.

They never know the beginning lives of a shadow behind me with all the struggles in-between. I am also doing my best to protect and controlling myself from the predators in life or death struggle. Surviving the harsh changing life is really hard to control which the strong foundation of friendship that you have started literality melting away in front of me.

My heart is shouting quietly which the remedial likely to knock down the pain.

As a saying goes, "No friends-hard life.Many (real good) friends-hard life, but with (real good) friends." Honestly, life is hard nowadays, so why would I worry over to an unworthy to worry of?

DRAMATIC SIDE OF LIFE

Sometimes life is merciless and unjust.Do you agree? Life is unfair that sometimes its cheating us all the way out. When problems in the world can offer have stumbled over us we cried out and ask,is this what we call "Life is Beautiful" when you suffer (from) pain and inadequacy?
I may sound a melodramatist but what am I saying is, the reality that you'll see around you can speak. Not only the environment that would bring attestation on that,even ourselves can speak to that.
It's unreasonable to view the four sides of life without spotting any holes of adversaries,isn't it?
Nonetheless,I have been an emotive person since the door of reality and events comes with the totality of veracity.
Describing my emotions right now is in the wry of rage and envious,prophesying how obscure my life would be. Have been falling down,dissatisfied and was defeated from my endeavors a hundred times, was a ruthless but an unfair,life.
Questioning the proportions of life is beyond what you can fully understand the true essence of life a man can have.
Looking my classmates and friends back in high school,how successfully they are abroad and happily enjoying the lives they have chosen. What about me? what I'm gonna do? Would I still have the happiness and success in life in the latter part or none at all?

PROTEST BOREDOM

Working and keeping occupied is one way of escaping boredom...I've been an idle (for) nearly 3 weeks because (of) I'm getting tired of my life teaching the Koreans with a customary or regular course of procedure routinely(everyday).
I really have no options its because that's the biggest way of getting big money in the quickest time,which is in line to my course.
Because boredom kept attacking me,I decided to quit for a while and stop whinning about teaching Koreans...I refused to teach in a formal school so as they just give you a meager salary after all those enclosure or "kaltas" thing.To unwind,resting for a while and enjoying myself as jobless was the first thing that I did and watching fave movies of course.
My closefriend Jackson Daguio had sent me his downloaded movies through bluetooth which I saved (them) in my cell phone.
The movies were "Remember the Titans" and "Blood Diamond"

Starred by Denzel Washington,he is memorable in Remember the Titans because of the demeanor as a football team coach during the times of racial tension between the Black and the White.I was inspired by this movie,viewing how Denzel pushed so hard the power of acceptance regardless of the color of your skin as long as you are in the same team you are all equal.Even in the early 70's,black were having a hard time of jiving the society where the majority is white.The movie was based in a true story.


The film tells the story of Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou), a fisherman who is enslaved to mine for blood diamonds. He finds a large one, which he hides before being captured. In jail he meets Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), a mercenary who smuggles diamonds. They escape and go to the warzone to retrieve the diamond. On the way they are joined by Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connely). The rest is an action movie with characters on the run in a conflict ridden paradise.

The movie were satisfying,specially "Remember the Titans".It reminds me of how the black Americans were being deprived of having the equal opportunity with the white.Nearly 3 weeks of being idle was enjoying after all,at least I got my body firm from a long sleeps without rushing and thinking of works.