By Eric - 3:42 AM

It's the 1st day of the month of December. As usual, I was away for awhile since my sked is quite tight. Its already Christmas and we can't stop that. The most wonderful time of the year has arrived and I can feel the cold wind touches my face, but the spirit of the season seems to be lonely and dry because Thai people doesn't celebrate Christmas.
This really makes me lonely more so as I'm away from my family for the first time,celebrating the yuletide season an ocean away from friends, kins and my parents. Honest to goodness, I am still adjusting now..I don't know when I am going to adapt the atmosphere of being away from home.
There are moments that I was almost tempted to shout and scream at the top of my lungs because of the feeling of being congested and enclosed with loneliness and nothingness.
Living in a foreign land makes you cry and sigh and even asking yourself why am I here? this isn't the country that I wish to be...I arrived expecting adjustment to life here in Thailand would be a breeze since its the Philippines neighboring Asian country.
The transition is a very stressful one, the reason I am physically stressed and my weight is loosing out of control.
My discouragement is due to a combination of things which left me weak and powerless. No matter how much would I try to fit in myself still there is lacking and am always a foreigner.
I found one of the hardest adjustments was getting used to living in such a land that you never wish for or dream of. I am also struggling of loosing sense of close tight relationship with the people around.
I miss the companionship of my friends and acquaintances,family, and I always have this feeling of being a lone hitch hiker most of the time.Despite of the lessons I've learned in life I spent most of the time feeling sorry and lonesome.I am tryin myself to study the language so that it won't be so hard for me to adjust the culture but I am not motivated to do so because the lacking of interest.
I just found myself in the midst of wilderness looking for something far and nowhere. Just encouraging myself deeply that God had brought me in this country because he has a reason, but my heart refused to accept that I have the purpose why I am here.
Last month I was in Laos exiting as required by some foreigners who can't obtain a certain visa. I spent 2 days and 1 night in Laos just to get a non B visa at Royal Thai embassy in Vientiane, Laos.
The country wasn't that impressived but it's peaceful. The language they were using was similar to that in Thai.
I was enjoying when I went there because I got the chance of meeting Filipinos so as with other foreigners sharing the same problems.
We stayed in a simple hotel with simple foods.The night was a bit fun just as the Filipinos love to sing in videoke.I decided to walked around with new found friends in a baywalk.
The trip going to Laos was so tiring because we were just boarded on a van with 11 passengers. We left 10 in the evening at Bangkok and we arrived in Laos early 5. We left the van and boarded to a bus that took us to Vientiane to process our papers at the embassy.
It was really hot at that time and tiring, but it's a good experienced to travel to a neighboring country around Asia.
Despite of that, my struggles isn't finished yet...I need to continue my journey no matter how lonesome it is.

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