THE ADJUSTMENTS OF A SINGLE MALE

It's the 1st day of the month of December. As usual, I was away for awhile since my sked is quite tight. Its already Christmas and we can't stop that. The most wonderful time of the year has arrived and I can feel the cold wind touches my face, but the spirit of the season seems to be lonely and dry because Thai people doesn't celebrate Christmas.
This really makes me lonely more so as I'm away from my family for the first time,celebrating the yuletide season an ocean away from friends, kins and my parents. Honest to goodness, I am still adjusting now..I don't know when I am going to adapt the atmosphere of being away from home.
There are moments that I was almost tempted to shout and scream at the top of my lungs because of the feeling of being congested and enclosed with loneliness and nothingness.
Living in a foreign land makes you cry and sigh and even asking yourself why am I here? this isn't the country that I wish to be...I arrived expecting adjustment to life here in Thailand would be a breeze since its the Philippines neighboring Asian country.
The transition is a very stressful one, the reason I am physically stressed and my weight is loosing out of control.
My discouragement is due to a combination of things which left me weak and powerless. No matter how much would I try to fit in myself still there is lacking and am always a foreigner.
I found one of the hardest adjustments was getting used to living in such a land that you never wish for or dream of. I am also struggling of loosing sense of close tight relationship with the people around.
I miss the companionship of my friends and acquaintances,family, and I always have this feeling of being a lone hitch hiker most of the time.Despite of the lessons I've learned in life I spent most of the time feeling sorry and lonesome.I am tryin myself to study the language so that it won't be so hard for me to adjust the culture but I am not motivated to do so because the lacking of interest.
I just found myself in the midst of wilderness looking for something far and nowhere. Just encouraging myself deeply that God had brought me in this country because he has a reason, but my heart refused to accept that I have the purpose why I am here.
Last month I was in Laos exiting as required by some foreigners who can't obtain a certain visa. I spent 2 days and 1 night in Laos just to get a non B visa at Royal Thai embassy in Vientiane, Laos.
The country wasn't that impressived but it's peaceful. The language they were using was similar to that in Thai.
I was enjoying when I went there because I got the chance of meeting Filipinos so as with other foreigners sharing the same problems.
We stayed in a simple hotel with simple foods.The night was a bit fun just as the Filipinos love to sing in videoke.I decided to walked around with new found friends in a baywalk.
The trip going to Laos was so tiring because we were just boarded on a van with 11 passengers. We left 10 in the evening at Bangkok and we arrived in Laos early 5. We left the van and boarded to a bus that took us to Vientiane to process our papers at the embassy.
It was really hot at that time and tiring, but it's a good experienced to travel to a neighboring country around Asia.
Despite of that, my struggles isn't finished yet...I need to continue my journey no matter how lonesome it is.

MELANCHOLY PLACE

As a young person, happiness and contentment isn't hard to achieve so as finding the way which you never know where to go. Uncertainties in life is becoming normal to human just as the way you look around seems to be monotonous.
This is the common life of a common person who tried to combat the loneliness of this world while finding the light in the midst of a dimmed melancholic place.
Just as the blind continue to grapple the hard things he can hold on to, the same way we continue to walk in the darkside of life until we finally found the light beyond the borders of failures.

ONE SOLITARY LIFE

Was blog absent for a while..decided myself to be in the hiatus for a couple of days since I was occupied with tutorial works so as my monetary budget was out..then. Now, I am back and love to share things more of me.
When you see the face of a person smiling, just as the sunshines in the sky shows the world that one feels happy and the moods is soaring high.
Most of the times, I feel so very sad and really don't know why, maybe its because I am struggling & grappling still attaining my dreams. Friends would just jokingly said, its a matter of tuning yourself through different frequencies of life; go with the flow of the current where it leads you.
Life is like a river continuous procession moving forward in a steady stream. Sometimes the flowing is rough when it isn't too deep. One of the reasons why I am sad its because halfway of my friends and acquaintances were already gone abroad and some of which were expecting me to be at the other side of the world already, grazing the greenest pasture.
I have thought occasionally that I was born unlucky, deprived by fate. Albeit failed a hundred times or so I am still firmly determined to try with the hope fortune would give its damn way. As luck would have it, my spirited heart has resolved the simpler form of acceptance, so long as the world continue to revolve around the axis there is still hope.
As the song goes " beyond the dark cloudy nights, the sun is shining through".I would have retired my fate if God would leave me just as it is..but I believed He won't do that to a special creature like me.