Photo Blog: Mountains of Desperation

I haven't blogged for quite a while, mountains of desperation has eaten out all of me which most of my time has spent worrying what to do next and the right steps to take so as begging the Celestial Being to reveal His perfect plans for me. Right now, I am in constant distraught and emotionally overloaded with agony and desperation.
The groaning too deep for words and the battles is inexpressible, deep inner struggles and pain is so hard to voice out but suppressing them inside. True enough, I am not spiritually strong still, and faith slowly fading to discouragement.

Desperation is a state of despair or utter hopelessness — the abandonment of all hope. The recklessness that grows out of despair is a powerful motivator, affecting many people's actions and life choices. The spirit of man yearns to know the purpose for his life. 

Right, I am deeply surrounded by mountains of desperation where sky of hopes is vanished, replaced by gloomy clouds of anguish. Not sure how long would this desperation in life last and not sure how long would I be able to stand and go. As human being, we have our limitations and this time I won't give God any quota nor pressuring Him just like during the time of the old old Israelites. But truly, I am madly desperate. I won't go on elaborating my rebellious attitude right now, çause He indeed knows how painful it is for me to go through such agony of frustration.





Herewith, are the pics which I took the other week.

I Thank God

photo courtesy of Google

Last Saturday (which was yesterday) was a great one to have, because we were a bit abounding of number in the Korean church including a new found friend who just frequently joining us.
Normally, it's the Korean Pastor's wife who would always lead out the Sabbath School program with new concepts of icebreaker that may awaken the senses of the church goers.
What she did yesterday was good enough for everyone to think of something that we need to thank God for by listing it down.
I was called to read my lists and shared what I have thank God for about, and here it is....

photo courtesy of Google

I Have All the Reasons in the World to Thank God....
1. for the trials and struggles in life everyday (here in Cambodia).
2. for the blessings of life.
3. the job He provided for me here in Cambodia.
4. the low salary I'm receiving in my teaching job.
5. for the blessings of health both physically and spiritually.
6. for the blessings of a new set of new found friends here in Cambodia.
7. for the blessings of protections.
8. for the blessings of food physically and spiritually.
9. for the blessings of the spiritual gift in teaching.
10. the miracles of getting up everyday.
11. the miracles of opening my eyes every morning.
12. the blessings of having good students.
13. the blessings of having a good school and the new management.
14. the blessings of the bad news that I see and hear everyday reminding myself to cling on more to God.
15. the miracles of having a great God who accepted the worse in me.
16. for the wonderful family I have, we may not perfect but I am glad we aren't.
17. for the blessings that I could find way to go to church every Sabbath and worship with fellow SDAs abroad.
18. the blessings that I could have my own personal devotions everyday.
19. for the persecution I have had.
20. Lastly, for the shower of blessings He gives each day.

These are the lists I have made except numbers 19 & 20 which I added only now to make it 20. Words of gratitude aren't enough to Him, I just feel ashamed and embarrassed because I don't deserve to call Him my father, because of my filthiness but then, I thank God for loving me always..I am just so lucky that I am a child of God and I am claiming that always.

Life Tips from 18 of the World’s Wealthiest

A few days back, I stumbled into a link being posted in my FB timeline. Later did I know that it was something I have to ponder upon, just a piece of advise from the world's experts. When I browse the link, it hit me like a fist on my stomach. Financially, these people being featured are world's wealthiest individuals literally sharing their thoughts and leading everyone somehow to be like them too.

I have no any inkling of becoming one of them sooner, but at least the way of saving my little income wisely would anyhow assist me on my monetary - handling - problems. Hence, wanna share the idea I've got from them.

Likewise, if you want to read the entire page of the link, simply click Jennifer Chang.

Trusting God When Life Seems Unfair

Sometimes, I felt life is unfair and when life is getting so harsh, we tend to say God is unfair. As a devout christian and a missionary, it's not easy and even so painful to see those who aren't doing well in life.
In fact, it is frustrating to know when you always hear the sermon in the church telling God is love and yet, you couldn't see the reality of His love but the contrary of what it's to be called love. Poverty is one of the rampant epidemics in the world, which no matter how hard you work for life to survive, still you couldn't get out the brinks of life's impoverishment. The reality is, the poor's getting poorer while the rich's getting richer, wherever you go, sights of life's poorness is still visible and sometimes it became an eyesore to the public's eyes.
I cam across of this blog telling, "When God Seems Unfair".

God is unfair, here’s why…When we see good people suffering and the bad living their full life, when we see a child rapped, when a town is devastated by natural calamities, when innocent people are killed by some lunatic, when your brother or a parent die of cancer even if you prayed your heart out, when you lost your job, when you don’t feel like you deserve what’s going on in your life — we question God, “Are you fair?” Why are these bad things happen to good people?I admit with honesty and sincerity, that I do not hold all the answers and wouldn’t want to try to give absolute answers. True enough, who can? Can we really explain?However, I offer possible answers based on God’s Word itself. Some, “maybe’s” that we can think of.When bad things happen to good people…1. Maybe you’re just a victim of a fallen world. The reality is, the world we live in is sick. It’s dying. In this world, the Bible says, you will face troubles. It guarantees that we do, because we live in a sin-sick world. Why do our love ones get sick, and eventually die? Why would somebody hurt us even if we do good things to them? It’s not your fault. It’s just that we live in a sin filled world and we become victims of it.2. Maybe it’s a direct result of your sin. We would ask God why he allowed us to be financially messed up? Because probably, you loaned a car, a house and purchased the newest iPad even if your income cannot support it. Why wouldn’t your children love you? Maybe because you were out most of the time. Sometimes, we suffer because it is a direct result of our own sin.3. Maybe God has something bigger in mind. I was watching this not-so-good Gerald Butler movie (and yes, we kinda saw that just because it’s a Gerald Butler movie) called “Machine Gun Preacher”. In that part of the movie when he gave his life to God, you would probably rejoice already. But then, right after that, he got laid off as a carpenter and his house got destroyed by a storm. You would think, why would that happen to him considering that those events happen right after he committed his life to God? Isn’t that unfair? But then, because of those two events in his life, a door opened up for him to start his own construction business. When something seems unfair, maybe God is doing something else for your benefit.But here’s the bottom line. Asking the question “Why bad things happen to good people” is a flawed question in the first place. The right question is “Why good things happen to bad people”. The reality is, in the eyes to a holy God, all of us are bad. We are all sinners. And if God is fair, he would have given what our sins deserve. Because he is UNFAIR, he gave us what we do not deserve — love, care, blessings. And for those who accepted Christ as their savior, he gave salvation — we don’t deserve it, we didn’t earn it, we CAN’T earn it, and yet he gave it anyway.Mercy is God NOT giving us what we deserve.Grace is God giving us what we DO NOT serve.God is UNFAIR.

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