My Favorite Instrumental Music

  As a member of Generation X, I was exposed to traditional instrumental music commonly used as the background or theme music for radio and television shows.   I have many beloved instrumental pieces, but I struggled to remember their titles until the advent of YouTube, which made it easier to find and listen to them online.   These classic instrumentals evoke a sense of nostalgia and sentimentality, transporting me back in time and stirring up memories of the past.   As someone prone to feeling emotional and nostalgic, I can't help but be moved whenever I encounter these tunes on social media platforms.   One particular instrumental I adore is exceptional and deserves high praise.  

Unbearable Pain of Loss Upon Death of My Parents

It took me more than a month to come back and dish out a specific topic to post. Life has been so cruelly hard and unfair since last year of September when my mother died.
Honest to goodness, I haven't completely adjusted to her death maybe it's because I didn't get the chance of talking & seeing her since I left home to work abroad. And that was the most torturing part of my life then...I was caught off guard by her sudden death.
Eleven months after, another member of the family died. A piece of heartbreaking news came when I was informed that my uncle died (the oldest brother of my mother).
Two weeks after, my world started to collapse again when a bad report came about my father. He was unconsciously admitted to the hospital due to hypertension. And from then on, he didn't wake up but could constantly be moving his body.
As the days getting longer, no signs of hope at all that he could be revived. Surprisingly, the day that I hated much came. From then on, I became so bland and hopeless.
That's when I knew that I am already ALONE and turned out to be so LONELY.
After the interment, everything back to normal as if nothing happen, where everyone had to go back to their usual life. My niece, who grew up under my parents' care decided to leave and be with her husband in the capital city - prolly, because of sadness too.
When the final time came that everyone had to leave, back to their respective places, I suddenly felt so all ALONE and LONELY. I felt like being trapped in an empty room looking for something.
I became so helpless, unfocused, and undetermined. Days and nights have been a bed of weeping.
I am back in Thailand now working at a new school trying to make ends meet and adapting to a new pace of life. Adjusting is among the demands in life that I hated most.
Right now, the need to put me in a fine-tune footing of being alone & solo is another chapter of my life which I have to get used to.
If I were to decide now, all I ever wanted is to go home and be in my home place with my kin and friends. My heart earnestly longs for home, I guess this is the saying; " There's No Place Like Home, Sweet Home."

Preengaged After A Great Loss

I've been blog absent for a month and a half. The fondness of keeping posted my online journal was on hibernation for a while on the grounds that, I am still paining and partly agonizing. The death of my mother is the most painful & excruciatingly stinging so to speak.
I am trying to move on, but the insignia of her persona keeps on paining me till now. I do miss her to the moon and back, which the longings of not seeing her at all has engulfed me with sadness and grief.
A closefriend of mine who suffered the same fate, shared the same sentiments that it might take a year to fully recover. To combat on that, I tried to involve myself on church community service or ministry to pass up the pain.
Lately, the my church had a tremendous outreached program showcasing the needs of the surrounding community nearby.

When My Mother Passed Away

Losing a mother is a broken beyond repair and considerably the most traumatizing, devastating, experience in life. Can't explain the pain I have been through right now, wishing I could turn back time and spend more time with her and my father. There was nothing beautiful not seeing her around at all. 

Among the greatest fears that I have is loosing someone that I love. True enough, it happened in my family.

The pain was excruciating and unbearable. If I had the chance to meet her one last time I would just ask her to hug me as tightly as she can, rest my head on her shoulders and cry till my tears run dry. I miss her so dearly to the moon and back. I miss her voice, I miss her everything about her. Though we usually argue and feud most often, the love of my mother to me was immeasurable and unfathomable.  

As I age, I begin to realize the value of a mother's love and the enormous depth of her commitment to me. Feeling guilty and wicked as I look back the time I answered back and raised my voice at her..which was the usual mother and son feud.

Right now, the maternal tenderness which is very hard to remove from the heart there remains the distant memories and the strong desire to see my Mother once again.

Re-Blogging: "My Mom Had Only One Eye"

Late Monday afternoon of September 14 , my classroom was brimming with emotions as I shared a story "My Mom Had Only One Eye" a core material for our Values subject of the day. 

Three of my boy pupils shed tears, while we were chorally reading the whole anecdote. My voice was also shaky, and it was too tough to control the tears, but I did. 
Couldn't fully visualized my kids would have been pinched by emotionally, in the corner of their hearts and bravely shed tears rightly in-front of me. 
Surely, the story would leave a greater bang into their lives to love their parents more.

Here is the excerpt of the improvised story of My Mom Had Only One Eye.

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, “EEEE, your mom only has one eye!”I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, “If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?”My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!”And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address.” – and she disappeared out of sight.One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.“My dearest son,I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.With all my love to you,Your mother.”

An Angel to Watch Over Me - An Ode for Mothers

A song that melted my heart every time I play this song on purpose. I certainly do believe that mother's serves as angel, created by God designed to watch after her kids. This song would always bring a river of tears reminding me of my mother's unconditional love and care for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_Sm8rjUyPs

She watched by my cradle 

    through long, sleepless nights

She taught me to pray as she knelt by my side

She guarded my childhood, 

     and all through the years

She echoed my laughter, she counted my tears

In the arms of my mother, I came to believe 

She taught me the meaning of courage and faith

She taught me to live with the Lord as my strength

She taught me to follow the pathway he marked

She guided my steps when the journey grew dark

And I know there were dangers that I could not see  

but God sent and angel to watch after me. 

She taught me to serve with a spirit that sings

She taught me to seek after heavenly things

And because of her love and her kindness and care

Because of the place that I hold in her prayers

And because of her goodness, I still believe

That God sent an angel to watch over me