CULTURE SHOCK-most depressing feeling

Coming and teaching in Thailand wasn't a serious pivotal plan, just as its the only poor 3rd resort I reserved when hitting USA or China fails.
Right now, I am still in the brinks of culture shock. Weighing myself in every nook of the situations in order to adapt the country.
I thought it would be easier for me to get used to a country which is only an Asian neighboring country of the Philippines.
To my surprise,I felt a total naive ignorantly when my feet started to thump on the Siam soil, without knowing what to do and what's happening around. Just like a blind grappling in the midst of the dark without direction.
Honest to goodness, traveling or working abroad is a tenacious desire since I am purely surrounded with US immigrant kins and friends,which is up to now a wish to be granted,hopefully.
My heart is reluctant to show its feelings of agitation which to be in Thailand is a fulfillment of my long desire or not.
Hence, journeying to USA is still on the highest level of my dreams. It doesn't matter though if its not an English speaking countries so long I could make a conquering quest to the land of the blondes and white.( do I sound like a racist? don't get me wrong please, I hate segragation)its just that they have the nicest and progressive countries on earth.
Frankly, I'd have to say my dreams isn't fulfilled yet so as the God would give me the chance to see America or the countries that I long to see.
When I arrived at Bangkok (new) International Aiport it occured to me that Thailand is technologically progressive than Philippines. The airport is so big and centralized comparing to that our new terminal.
I was really stunned when we got on to a taxi which was a right hand drive. The city itself is not as dirty like in Manila.They don't horn their cars, no smoke belching and not reckless driving.Got the chance to see Bangkok for 5 days because the school wants me to obtain a working visa, which the system in the immigration was really confusing and bad. A few of them can speak English, really.
During halloween, they celebrated it differently from the rest of the world like the usual we do.Its one of their big festival which was a cleansing of the soul by floating small flower boat made of banana or improvised one.
I watched how they celebrated it and its noisy to be exact but tolerable.

MY FIRST TRAVEL ABROAD

Sorry for the long blog absence...I failed to write something because my time was occupied with so many things. Now, I am back and updating it once again about the recent happenings of my life. I didn't expect that the first country that I was about to visit is Thailand. It never popped out just as my plan would be either in the USA or China. When a sudden call came from Thailand, I was hesitant at first to accept the call since it's not my target. I prayed hard and was asking for signs from the Lord, believing that it was really God's will. All my things were packed up just as preparing myself for the new environment that I am going to trod. As I was heading to the airport with friends to accompany me, I never felt the excitement nor the happiness since I knew that I am leaving for a country that I never prayed so hard nor asking God for it that much. When Cebu Pacific Airlines touched down at the airport, my feelings were like backing out and going home to the Philippines. The emotions of homesickness hit me like a fist while we were driving to Bangkok to get a rest for a while since I arrived almost 12 midnight. The excitement had never visited me so I didn't appreciate much of my coming here to Thailand. After all, I thank God for giving me the chance to see the other side of the world though it didn't reach my expectations. I hate to complain at all to the Lord because He has been so good to me. The place where I am staying right now is located in the northern part of Thailand, 3 hours from Bangkok by van and 41/2 by bus. I felt more frustrated when none of them can't understand my English nor nobody from the place could talk to me except the Thai English teachers with their awful lucid English, but for the high school students, it drained my strength so badly. To be in Thailand wasn't a dream to me since I am always wishing to be in a country of blondes and white people, especially in the English speaking countries. I knew God works in mysterious ways but sometimes my human understanding isn't deep enough to comprehend His ways. My first day of teaching was so terrible so as on the second day since I can't fully extend my horizon on how to tickle them. Nevertheless, I am already here but still praying that God would send me home.