A WEEK IN OLONGAPO

One day I decided to quit. I quit my job, my relationship and my spirituality. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. “God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”


His answer surprised me. “Look around! Do you see the fern and the bamboo?” “Yes”, I replied.


He continued, “When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.”


“In the third and fourth year, there was nothing from the bamboo seed but again I would not quit. Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just six months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.”


“I know that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots but I will never quit on you. Don’t compare yourself to others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come and you will rise high.”


“How high should I rise?” I asked. “How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked me in return.


“As high as it can?” I questioned. “Yes!” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

– Unknown

Life is getting harder everyday as I can see it. My staying in Cavite is always routinize by the same schedule and same errands. As a standby and jobless,time has been so fast that as if my world is getting smaller.
I received text from my first cousin in Olongapo asking me to come home just to attend the birthday of her second baby which at first I was hesitant because of the financial conditions I have had.
Telling her about my status, she sent me a fare just to come home...well,since I have nothing to do in Cavite I packed my things right away and drove home. Boarded on a bus way down to region 3, my face was painted with happiness and sadness as well asking myself what would I do next when I get back to Cavite?
Do I still have the chance and a so called- bright future ahead of me? I can't help but shed tears and asked God.
Knowing that life is filled with uncertainties,I checked my mails at our High School website when I arrived in Zambales..I was catching up all of the comments and two mails from a friend back in high school.
Touring the entire site checking what's the new update and new batch member who just accidentally found our site was the second thing I did with so much missingess in my heart. A dear 4th year classmate of mine who just posted his blog about Never stop quitting had stricken my heart with awe,spiritually.
I just found out that many from my high school batch mates have experiencing the same fate as mine..but they never thought of quitting though at times they thought of it but still the spirit of bravery have pushed them to fight the hurdles in life.
The message above was the note being posted by my friend at his blog which a good awakening for me,perhaps.
I thank God for giving me so much friends who just continue praying and giving me pieces of advise which I think it serves as my propeller the reason why I'm still here in this world.

IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKES A MAN

"It's the clothes that makes the man"..that was the dialogue of a woman in the movie Casino Royale James Bond movie 1969 original.
I was trying to understand this saying,with so much ground to dig out.Does it sounds,Don't Judge the Book by its Cover? I think it does.
A man can be what he is and be known by what he dresses...How important really is what we wear? Do we need to hide behind our clothes so that we can't be recognized who we are?
Speaking of James Bond movies...I am a true fanatic. Not mentioning of the gadgets he uses and action which made him so different from the other agent character, of course the Bond girls.
Aside of the new James Bond his movies, I watched the first James Bond film way back in the late 50's.Wow, how old that movie was.
I just want to post some of his old posters which I'd seen before and watched it again that somehow you might get some idea about the old old 007.

SIQUIJOR- A MUST SEE DESTINATION

Summer is a perfect season for a backpacking adventure, visiting different places in the country is an ideal travel tip to escape the hustle & bustle of the city. if it's summer here in the Philippines, truly the heat is scorching, that something to expect. Since it's summer here, the sun is calling out once again, signaling us with a warm of dark tans, calming sunsets, warm wind that touches your cheeks. As a provincial starve vacationer, Siquijor is one of the top 5's I recommended since I was born there & spent some of my early innocent days. It's the home province of my mother which an uncharted territory in the central Visayas. Because of its urban legend "sorcery", the more exciting your travel fancy that surely thrilled your heart. Siquijor is the smallest island among the 3 biggies in Central Visayas (Cebu, Bohol, Negros) but the most peaceful, laid-back, and inexpensive. At the same time, Siquijor invokes a sense of adventure and exploration. One thing that you can't do in the city is stargazing, the sky is so clear that you can visibly see millions of stars at night. Fireflies lighted the trees are the usual enchanting background that you can pictorially see some. You can honestly demand your privacy there if you want to which is very hard to get nowadays. Siquijor is a place with no traffic, no pollution, far from the nuisance of the metropolitan, fresh air, and no beggars to say the least. Progress there has been so slow, there's no mall, movie houses and no fast-food chain but there's a lot of stores and restaurants around (the)towns. Blogger friends such as Ferdz and Oggie are amongst the Manilenyo backpackers who just visited and uncovered the mystery of the island. Their cameras will tell you how tempting Siquijor is for an escapade of the cosmopolitans intrigue and an urgency stressful works in the city. Pictures below are the snapshots of shreds of evidence of the hush and the serene setting of Siquijor. I don't want to go on more elaborately, bragging about the island but hoping the pictures below would do the talking more. Thanks to Ferdz and Oggie for these breathtaking shots they took about the island of Fire. (pictures courtesy of www.oggieblog.blogspot.com) (pictures courtesy of www.ironwulf.net)

BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

I wasn't good enough for real, the reason I was met with much anxiety. The question are, what's my priority in life? Wife? Comfort? or Financial stability, perhaps?
The sporting desire of my elusive dreams are complemented by exceptional roller coaster ride, highly generous amounts of patience and long suffering, of course there should be flexibility to match.So I can be what I want to be.."Hirap ng Buhay talaga ngayon, haaayyy!
Listing some of the movies, I had viewed during lent season were the following:












(Disclaimer: just want to thanks Google.com for these posters and Rose&Richard Cayanan for sharing these movies to me)

WHAT LIES OVER THERE

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be discriminated? or having rejected of the job you wish for, its because you aren't a product of the top (caliber) universities in the country? Or its because you aren't an English native speaker, yet , a native of the Philippines?
All these pointless reasoning has gotten me sick outrageously. I am always bombarded with these kind of unprincipled dogma herein. My childhood dream in life is to give a try-out working beyond the island with the desire of knowing what it likes to work abroad, & what lies out there (of course earning is included though).
Since the grass is more greener & luring at the other side of the world, the skilled & professional Filipino workers continually leaving the motherland for a cause,economically. What future you can get out of this corrupt country?
Eventually, its my second option whenever rejections continue to rise in my denomination (referring to my church affiliations, which racial discrimination still practicing).
Ideally, Adventist (my church) aren't supposed to embrace this kind of belief, because it's an indulgence of the world. Let me share my ill-fated experiences concerning racial discrimination.I just received a fresh email from a secretary at the recruitment area in our church big office (pertaining to Southeast Asia)These information from the website are very important. For Language qualification: English (mother tongue) required, this refers to applicant coming from English speaking countries such as USA, Canada, Australia, England, etc.
Another incidents, an English Language Institute in Ukraine,owned by our church rebuffed my application because I'm not an American nor coming from the English speaking countries. That rejection was done through a long distance phone call right after the questioning of my nationality, school, & my accent.Whew, why the Lord didn't make English as one language globally so as my voice, pronunciation accentuated like of those American or British twang?
One hurtful experienced occurred too was when I received another long phone call coming from USA initiated phone interview because of the application I sent in Japan for a missionary teaching job. Hence, I was asked to obtain a driver's license which is one of the requirements needed.
After all those refined & a little assuring conversation, I raised a question concerning the possibilities & chances I can make to get the job, straightly frank as the answered was a big NO, its because again they needed American by particular.
I told the person, what's the use of calling me & forcing me to secure a driver's license in a quickest possible time,yet, they won't accept me? I'd really say, "Putang Ina". I never cared of the Celestial Being would hate me of saying " Putang Ina ,talaga" That's how I felt right now, I'm outrageously angry.
Got this message online:
Your future isn’t fixed, but it is shaped – by events and experiences, in this life and any past lives. For example, early emotional wounding or traumatic experiences, even if barely remembered, can leave ‘triggers’ that activate to cause repetitive patterns of negativity. Negativity in one person attracts negativity in others, damaging both personal and professional relationships.

At What Lies Ahead, our work involves identifying, understanding, and countering, negative influences from the past involving you and those close to you. By removing the ‘triggers’ that cause negativity, we are laying the foundations on which you can build a better, more positive future.

OVERFED BUT UNDERNOURISHED

Huh! long holy week vacation's over, it's over for a vacationers-except me. Except for a jobless, unemployed like me, - us. Sounds very pathetic and hopeless isn't it? Unemployed in the midst of the global crisis is a worthless & unmeritorious citizen. What can I do? I was born poor, unfortunate, ill-fated college graduate.
Living in a barren corrupted country slowly enfeeble my hopes as I am counting the days everyday. Sometimes, my inclinations to worry unduly executed me as if it grips my neck tightly and leave me breathless.
Occasionally, I ask myself f God has abandoned me completely. I have never been so lucky since my life is always paired with regrettable inauspicious living, comparing to other like my cousins, friends, acquiantances, and even classmates back both in high school and college.
Considering overfed with food and dreams but undernourished materially. Undernourished all the answers being asked in life.
I am honestly starving of the answers I needed, why I'm always left situated at the end-most? Why can't I be preceding all others in order? Why can't I be succeeded just like them? Life seems to be unfair and unpromising in terms of thing conducive to happiness.
My holy week vacation wasn't favorable & fertile as I expected to happen. Not just because I wasn't gratified & felicitously happy meeting with my cousins, except for the fact that my intellectual ability is boggling with doubt questions instead of resting it from the puzzling enigmatic life. I left my rented place for a short vacation monetarily emptied so as I came back still empty handed. What a wasted nonsense life! Don't you think it is?
Aside from the crucial hot weather that caused ny head aching, thinking hardly about my future is among the ultimate problems form a mental picture in mind. The lack of sleep, food, and money has been excruciatingly tough. Adding to that, the global economic meltdown, less jobs offer in the country is an alarming scenario that shakens me, resulting (to) the weakens of my spiritual badly.
Honestly, I'm lonely, sad, angry, hopeless and crying everyday. Throughout the lent days, harboring myself by watching movies was the last opt I did just to ease the pain and head-aches.
Temporarily, it diverted my mind somewhere else nonetheless, it didn't cure absolutely.
Below are the posters of the films I had watched just this lent days. I thank my cousin Rose and her husband Richard for lending me those movies thru out the week. If you haven't watched them, please try to. Some, may old films already but still worth to watch.

YESTERDAY, TODAY and TOMORROW

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.

Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday

So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.

Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday

And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today

So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday And I reached some of those goals today So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow And if tomorrow turns out to be like today I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
(Source: Janargy )

The weather isn't good this time... Supposedly, today must be a hot summer but it turned out to be rainy in the midst of summer..funny isn't it? Life is just like that, full of drama and mystery, sometimes your happy and lucky and suddenly things will turn out so gloomy, very unpredictable.
While reading and touring the entire blogosphere, a poem which is "Makulit" of sort was posted by a certain blogger name Jan, because of its kakulitan I was tempted to copy it and posted it here with the hope everyone might appreciate just as I do too and understand the thought behind the message with a question;
Once again, I just amused myself by watching a bundle of movies while I'm still a couch potato this time temporarily. Two movies from the 80's and one was an event happened back in the late 70's till 80's but the film was shot early of year 2000 which brought so much flashback in mind while I was savoring the 80 tempo of the movies.
One of it, is my fave since it was starred by Brooke Shields, my childhood crush.I had viewed it once incompletely the reasoned I downloaded it again. She was the crush of the 80's lads that time,because she is stunned, with a very beautiful face and a good actress then.
Endless Love movie, was an action of teens rebellious way back in the 80's, meaning a forbidden love.Brooke Shields became more famous when this movie had shown globally...of course with its timeless theme song " Endless Love" sang by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie.
9 1/2 Weeks movie, was a very steamy and sexy movie yet somewhat psychological.It tells about passion on love and sex, sadomasochistic relationship involvement of sexy actress Kim Basinger nudity.This movie was an old and original 90's version of "Basic Instinct", though the story was different but it involved the same erotic scenes and nudity (nudity of Sharon Stone at Basic Instinct).The 3rd movie I watched was Studio 54.The actors who had played on the movie were actors of today like Ryan Philippe, Selma Hayek but the setting and the whole pictures was happening during the heady days of 70's-80's.This movie reminds me of so much music and people who usually attended the hottest disco of all time naming the rich and famous, not only on showbiz but in politics. Well, that once famous disco was named by the christian groups as the Sodomic city in New York because of it's sexually activities, drugs, etc. So much lessons to learn about these movies, regardless of its rate as sexy and a dim erotic.
Life is like a movie, written, produced, played by us but directed by God...it's a one take movie, sometimes its blockbuster most likely a flopped.That's where we cried, stumble, worried and discouraged...nonetheless as a human nature just as we are we can't think and ask why....